Pentonville 1:21 Mon Dec 13
It's happening today.
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Yeah I'm a bit look at me.
Peronii u met Met My wife.my son..u did a long journey to meet me see me. U commented yesterday on my actual death note.but didn't text me. Im boring. I get it. Have I ever told a lie.
The pressure of being honest is hard.. u lose many friends. Then u feel lonely.. but when I was proud of myself I was amazing.
I'm done in next day or so.
Read my messages. See I never attacked defended xxx
I've decided like the Indian's said. Today Is a good day to die 24 hours. I'm so angry at the unappreciation.
I swear u won't need to read a long boring message from me
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Replies - In Chronological Order ( Show Newest Messages First)
Pentonville
1:25 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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Oh and a dirty doctor wanked me off. He beat me. Millwall didn't.
Florence terrace Deptford
Me and my dad'. Proper west ham. We had to fight every damn day. I couldn't stop being tossed off by a doctor ì
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Rossal
1:27 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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Hi mate,
Good too see you on here this morning, try and reach out today and get some help. Lay off the booze and make a phonecall to get help.
Baby steps and one day at a time it will get better.
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cup of tea
1:29 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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Was the doctor male or female? Real doctor or role play?
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Pentonville
1:30 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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My wife left a note. Beautiful. It said I love you and our son adores you.
So that means I'm not a bully.
Gents I'm so scared of my brain. Its done. I have no hope. Block has my final voice note. My end. Tell everyone what it said
I wished I learned fishing.
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On The Ball
1:32 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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Your son LOVES you and NEEDS you, mate.
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On The Ball
1:34 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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And if you wish you'd learned to sish, why don't you learn it WITH your son? Nights camping round a lake, on boats abroad - think of the memories that'll make for both of you.
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Coffee
1:38 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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What OTB said, both times.
For what it's worth, this site wants you too. Everyone on here.
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Block
1:41 Mon Dec 13
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Early next year, I'll come over to France and we'll go sea fishing, Son.
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Pentonville
1:42 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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I tried 7 months ago to get the bad man.
I rang and suggested how I was feeling.
They told me u have to have the police involved to be able to get their help.
I said fuck the police are u a mother. Yes she said. Bless her I wS aggressive
I hung up. Would never punch a lady or hurt a child
How's that kid everyone commented on last week. The abused one.
look at the man next to you
Ask stuff. I can accept beijng called a wanker if ur living ur best life.
Winehouse died. I had given all I could.
I was exhausted.
I dare any one of you to give me a project. What do u want me to help you with. Tell me . Its done..
Hello to danny66 and w4hammer. U backed me on my journey
Sorry I got big and didn't say sorry
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Pentonville
1:47 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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I call my wife Lockit
Lucy
Bless her.. she must be terrified.
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Coffee
1:51 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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Pentonville old son, you're in a bad place now, I get that.
You've been in a good place before. You'll be back in the good place again, because that's what happens. There's plenty on here who are willing you to get back there soon, and who care for you and your wellbeing.
Keep on here, keep talking. Tell us what's going through your mind - chances are, there'll be loads of people who know what you're describing.
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Moncurs Putting Iron
1:51 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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Pents,
This time of year brings feelings like this into sharp focus, for the lonely and the broken (At the moment) it brings things into sharp focus.
Your wife sleeping wasn't her abandoning you for a few hours it was an exhausted woman whose body and brain was demanding her to sleep at the same time yours was telling you to stay awake. When she asks you to look outside, she is trying to get you to see the beauty that she can see and give you reasons to hang on in and try to get to the other side. But the depression spectacles cloud all views.
Your family are NOT better off without you big man, no matter how much you tell yourself different.
We are seeing you at your worst mate, but we still see you and look forward to seeing you improve to be near your best.
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Pentonville
1:52 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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Crassus. Tell everyone how along my son is. Block do it.
Oeroni do it. Gents. Make sure he is considered west ham. I can't be fucksd.
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El Scorchio
1:53 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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What OTB said. Your wife and son need you.
STAY STRONG.
Try to seek the help you need, even if it's difficult.
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Pentonville
1:55 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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I keep telling Lucy to stop talking
Bless he.
Coffee and moncurs pi
Gonna read it cos ur old skl
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Pentonville
1:57 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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U two are beautiful. Xx
Meet my wife. Good men. Xxx
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Moncurs Putting Iron
1:58 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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Pentonville 1:47 Mon Dec 13
Very perceptive statement, showing great emotional intelligence.
But know this. (Because I have been in her position) SHE is not terrified of you now, she is terrified of losing you forever and just hoping she doesn't say or do the wrong thing to send you over the edge.
Dont put that on her, mate. I am begging you.
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Coffee
1:58 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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So are you, mate.
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FrancoisVanDerElst
2:00 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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I Know what you are saying makes perfect sense to you right now but give yourself the chance to get to the place when it doesn’t .
Let people look after you
Get to a mates house let them keep you safe
Don’t think about tomorrow yet just get there
Hope you see lots of people understand and take the advice
It will be worth it
See your son as the reason to keep going
Good luck mate
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Mr Anon
2:00 Mon Dec 13
Re: It's happening today.
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Keep the faith Pentonville, good times will return like the seasons. You have to learn to live with winter by knowing summer will return.
Honestly call Samaritans, and keep calling them till you get someone that clicks.
Set yourself some goals too, until you've tried absolutely everything what you're talking about is folly.
Keep us all updated!
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